


Angel

by orphan_account



Series: Definitions [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-15
Updated: 2013-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-05 10:00:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel (ān-jəl) n. a spirit or guardian of heavenly origin. See also: LOST FOREVER</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angel

**Angel** (ān-jəl) **_n._** a spirit or guardian of heavenly origin. _See also: LOST FOREVER_

            “Would you want to keep this?”

**Breathe** (brēth) **_v._** inhalation and expiration. _See also: SUFFOCATING_

            “Sherlock, darling, you need to clear some of this out.”

            “No.”

            “It will help you move on. How about—?”

            “I said _no_ , Mrs. Hudson.”

**Crash** (krash) **_v._** to break into pieces with violence and noise; to fall, land, or hit with destructive force; to decline suddenly and steeply. _See also: MY SOUL_

            The door to 221A clicks shut.

**Disposition** (dis pə ‘zi shən) **_n._** behavioral tendency, an inclination to act in a particular way. _See also: CUDDLING DURING MOVIES_

            John’s laptop sits on the desk, untouched. While I had often ~~borrowed~~ *stolen it, I can no longer bear to hear the cheerful start-up tune.

            The last DVD we watched remains in the player. James Bond. John’s favorite.

            I press the button. I sit on my side of the couch, putting an arm across the back, leaving my side open for John to curl up into.  

**Eyes** (īz) **_n._** a specialized light-sensitive sensory structure that is the image-forming organ of sight. _See also: THE BLUE OF AN AUTUMN STORM_

            I can no longer expand my lungs. I click another button and the screen goes black, but my mind continues to whir.

**Fault** (fȯlt) **_n._** responsibility for wrongdoing or failure. _See also: MINE_

            Glass rains down from the wall across the room. I hold no regrets neither for the innocent vase, nor the garish flowers lying on the rug in ruination.

            I press palms to closed lids until the blackness is spotted with orange and yellow and red and not the deepest, most beautiful blue I’ve ever seen or will ever see again…

            John rarely showed pain like this. He would simply brush it off like dust from his bulletproof vest, but hidden underneath the Kevlar he was bruised to the bone.

**Gossamer** (gäs’ə mər) **_n._** sheer, delicate material. _See also: JOHN’S TOUCH_

            Hands claw at my center, scrabbling against cloth and skin and soul, trying to tear out the pain until it’s gone and only sound effects of emotions are left.

**Haze** (hāz) **_n._** a vagueness of mind. _See also: LIFE SINCE JOHN_

            We hadn’t had much use of John’s bedroom in the past year.

            I bury myself in the green duvet and inhale the sun and sand and sweat.

**Incandescent** (in’kən des’ənt) **_adj._** glowing with intense heat; very bright. _See also: JOHN’S SOUL_

            A warm hand meets my back. I open my eyes to the darkness of the evening.

            “I wasn’t sure if I should wake you, but…”

            “Mycroft!”

            His arms tighten around my torso as I inhale the clean suit and the familiar musk at his chest.

            He idly rubs my back, my big brother protecting me from the evils of school children and bullies and abuse from father.

            “I just got the news this morning. They can finish the negotiations without me. Contact with the outside was forbidden in this last month, but—”

**Jasper** (jas’pər) **_n._** an opaque variety of colored quartz, usually reddish. _See also: MY BIG BROTHER’S HAIR_

            Sleeping pills.

            My own warm bed.

            Mycroft sitting beside me, rubbing my back.

            Blackness.

 


End file.
